


So Sad It Ends, As It Began

by Marchessa



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: F/M, Roger is dumb, Writing Challange, crystal is a good friend, freddie is mentioned, sorry but i used google translator for the french part you can stone me later, wine is great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:26:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marchessa/pseuds/Marchessa
Summary: Once upon a time, there were two heroes with the same surname, who weren't related by blood. They were staying in a Swiss town on the shore of Lake Geneva at the foot of the alps, called Montreux. The two protagonists just finished their daily quest of getting drunk (very, very drunk), when they decided it was time to head back to their magnificent residence, (you may have already heard about this astonishing place called Duckingham Palace).On their route back to the Home of the Ducks, the heroes had to face many challenges: finding their way back in pitch black (which is let's admit, not easy when it's the middle of the night and you are wearing shades), passing through an almost uncrossable jungle of garden plants, and defeating several steep staircases.The question is, does our favourite gallant knight in those unmistakable sunglasses, in the end, gets the expected welcome from his sleeping lover, the French princess?In this story, the always helpful assistant sings his own and his boss's glorious triumphs and shameful defeats.
Relationships: Chris "Crystal" Taylor & Roger Taylor, Dominique Beyrand/Roger Taylor
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	So Sad It Ends, As It Began

**Author's Note:**

> 'She was always late' will be written on my tombstone.
> 
> This beauty was written for the wonderful Steffi's writing challange as part of the #billytheskywalkerchallenge. (I should have submitted this fic earlier, but it's better later than never, right?)
> 
> The story is loosely based on Crystal's tales Part IV - "We Was Phased, ..."
> 
> Hope you will enjoy it! :))

Montreux became one of the headquarters of the Queen family, or something quite close to that. 

Chris Taylor remembered the time when the band members first marched into the little swiss municipality after they chose Mountain Studios to record some parts of their Jazz album in 1978. He could recall how Freddie originally wasn't that impressed by the town, and how it took some time and some good Swiss wine to change his opinion. And how could he forget the times when Roger and he went on a search during recording breaks looking for a great place to get drunk. 

Time has definitely has changed since the four hysterical queens first stepped into this usually calm place, making its history even more fabulous with a lot more hit songs. It was like creativity, concerning the music industry, flowed freely on the streets, inspiring many great musicians to write and record some of the most famous songs of all times. 

Queen has just finished their The Works album, and even though they didn't record it in Montreux, Roger decided to make his second album, Strange Frontier in the Mountain Studios before the Works Tour begins in that summer.

And that was why Chris was back in town with the famous blond drummer, who that moment looked like a tail-wagging puppy, swinging on his chair with a stupidly big grin, almost falling back several times. Chris was the one who had to steady him every time, but the blond ignored him most of the time, his cheeks flushed red temporarily. 'Ugh...God. Love really makes people crazy, or is it the wine?' The drum technician mused as his "boss" made an ass of himself for the umpteenth time that day. 

It really did fascinate the brown-haired man how Roger still tried to impress Dominique. After all that time. After they had become a couple years ago. After they had a son together! But it seemed, the saying was true, falling in love really made you a fool. And Chris was there to witness those two across the table and their story of blossoming love. As being Roger's drum technician at first, then becoming his personal manager and friend, it was impossible to avoid. To evade the requests to give his friend advice on love, or to dodge the duty to console an almost completely heartbroken Roger when it seemed Dominique wasn't falling for his charm as other girls did. It was actually quite funny, seeing the great ladies man failing miserably in seducing his next prey.

And surprisingly for everyone, after seducing this one, there wasn't a next one.

Dominique was a fine lady in Crystal's opinion. They shared the responsibility to keep the drummer out of trouble, Chris did the job on tour and in between recordings - mostly successfully, - and Dominique had the shift at home. They got along well and often made fun of Roger together when he was... well, himself.

The fourth and last person at the table was Dave Richards, who looked a bit uncomfortable with the lovebirds sitting next to him, feeding each other with fondu. Seeing that, Crystal emptied his wine glass, gulping down the remains of the red liquid, and raised his hand, signalling the waiter to bring another bottle to their table.

"So," Roger looked up from his plate.

"How is the filming of the I want to break free going?" Dave asked curiously.

" Oh, it's going amazing. You will be very impressed. I look fabulous if I may say so myself." The blond winked at the man, Dominique giggled, and Chris huffed. " Actually, the only part left to shoot is Freddie doing what he always does," the blond took a bite from his food, and continued while chewing "Ya' know, being dramatic and all."

" I can't wait to see it," Dave hummed in response.

" Oh, I'm not sure about that. If you should see it or not, but this video will be big, I can tell you that." Chris looked at the unsuspecting man than turned toward Roger. " By the way, I don't know what changed your mind. You usually hate when people mistake you for a girl or says you look girly?" Chris raised a brow in question.

"Nah, it will be a good laugh. Anyway, it was Dom's brilliant idea, and the others went with it. You can imagine it didn't take a lot of convincing to get Freddie on board," the drummer squeezed his girlfriend's hand.

" Fred wanted to borrow one of my pair of high heels, to practice walking in it," Dom smiled.

" He enjoyed wearing the fake tits the most," Roger added.

" Fake tits?!" Dave almost choked on his wine.

" You will have to see it with your own eyes to believe it," Chris shook his head.

" It's getting late, babe." Dominique nudged Roger's hand.

" What? It's not even 8 p.m.! Are you feeling alright, beautiful?" Roger asked worriedly.

" I want to go back to phone the sitter. You know how restless Felix gets when none of us is with him. If he is not sleeping yet, I could sing him some lullaby," Dominique replied as she started to gather her things and put on her coat.

" Don't worry, I will get back this idiot in one piece later," Chris pointed at Roger, who was staring up at Dominique with love and adoration. Dominique just smiled at him gratefully.

" I can walk you back," Dave offered. " I have an early start tomorrow in the studio."

After Dominique and Roger shared a chaste kiss, she and Dave left the restaurant.

" And now what?" Chris asked.

" The night is still young. We should get drunk," the blond answered.

" Thank, God! I thought you wouldn't say that" the longer haired man sighed in relief. 

After they paid for the bill, they left to search for a pub preferably where they could drink their weight in beer or wine without getting kicked out. 

***

They soon downed half of the stock of the bar they choose to sit in, and it would have been challenging to follow Roger with bare eyes since only a blond flash could be seen as he trotted and danced from one table to the other. You could say Roger was an energetic drunk, never staying still for a long time. And the fact, that Crystal was equally drunk, and he was feeling dizzy didn't make the task easier keeping the blond man safe.

Roger was trying to climb up on one of the bar stools, and Chris was half cheering him on half trying to dissuade him when they were kindly asked by the bartender, to leave the establishment. 

They still did not quite satisfy their thirst, so they went on to the next bar. On the way there they were stopped by a few fans, who wanted Roger's autograph. The screeching girls didn't make Chris feel better as his head was throbbing, but Roger, being always charming, complimented the fans while he scribbled his name on a few crumpled papers and stained napkins. One particular red-haired lass slipped a paper containing some digits in Roger's shirt pocket, taking the compliments as an invitation for more.

"Uhm, Rog! We should be going, or your wife will be really enraged. You promised the kids to read a bedtime story," Chris tried to solve the problem, and Roger sent him a bewildered look but remained silent until the girls left dejectedly.

" I got a wife?! And kids? I mean as in plural? Blimey, how long was I drunk exactly?" The confused drummer asked.

" Don't get your knickers in a twist. You don't have a wife, just a girlfriend and you have only one kid, that you know of," he muttered the last part under his nose.

" I love Dom," Roger cheerfully announced.

" I am well aware of that."

"Probably I should buy her some flo- hicc" he hiccupped in the middle of the sentence " some flowers."

" I don't think there is any flower shop open in the middle of the night, Rog. You should buy it in the morning."

The two of them were joking when they walked into the next pub, telling jokes only they found funny, thanks to their inebriated state.

" Why was the teacher cross-eyed?" Chris asked?

" Dunno, why?" Roger slurred.

" 'Cause she couldn't control her pupils, bwahaha!"

" Haha! That was a good one," the drummer laughed along. " Wait, wait. I got one too!" He cheerfully announced. " How it goes?" He furrowed his brows in concentration. " Oh, yeah! What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?" 

"Hmm?" Chris shrugged.

" Aye, 'maighty!" 

Their howling laughter caused a few of the pub's patrons to turn toward them, but the two men just continued their giggling as they walked to the counter. Roger asked for some wine for them with groggy hand movements, and the bartender complied the task dutifully, not asking any questions. That was the professionality Roger liked in the catering personnel, so he left a few coins as a tip on the counter. 

The two Taylors went to sit down to a table on wobbly feet, and Roger's head soon snapped up in alert. Jumping up from the sitting position, he started to stomp with his feet and bopping his head to the tune coming from a radio.

" Hey, you hear that! What a genius song!" He pointed with his thumb in the direction of the radio. " I wonder, hicc! I wonder who wrote that, hicc!" He chirped in between hiccups.

" You! Dumbass..." Crystal noted in a flat tone. 

" What?" 

" You wrote that song."

" Me? I don't remember it?!"

" You are a moron, Roger. It's on Queen's new album. Ring any bell?"

" Oh, yeah. That I'm bloody brilliant!" Roger happily exclaimed while taking off his sunglasses to clean it on his shirt since he could barely see a thing in the dimly lit building. " Hey, does my glasses still stained? I can't really see in them."

Crystal just rolled his eyes and took it out of his boss hands, continuing cleaning it in his own shirt after exhaling on it. When he thought he did a good enough job, he handed it back.

" Do ya think they take song requests?" 

After a few more rounds of booze when they found everything way funnier than it was actually, a celebrating crowd entered the pub. The newly arrived people didn't recognise his drumming highness but engaged in conversation with Roger and his brown-haired companion, who was already half lying on the table in front of him. Roger learned that the group was celebrating one of the member's birthday, so he decided to buy the bunch a few rounds of drinks. He eagerly joined a few of them on the top of a table singing along with the songs blasting from the radio. He also enthusiastically shouted with the crowd 'Shots, shots, shots!'. What can be said, the owner of the pub made good money serving the rowdy crowd. The blond was actually about to sit in someone's lap, when a weary-looking Crystal stopped him, saying they should go head back soon to the accommodation.

" But I don't want toooo," Roger tried his best puppy face, pouting at Chris.

***

The drum technician wasn't having any of it, so he helped the shorter man in his jacket and waved goodbye to their new gang. Roger was shamelessly leaning on poor Crystal for support, who was barely standing on his own feet.

" Rog, we will fall if you continue to cling to me like this," he tried to shove his friend off.

" It's your fault, party popper. We could have stayed there longer!"

Chris learned a long time ago, not to get into a dispute with drunk Roger, it wasn't worth it.

On the route back to the Duckingham Palace, Chris kept stumbling and barely avoiding falling on his face, when he heard Roger bellowing in despair.

" Crystal!"

" What?!" He carried on with stumbling without turning back.

" I think I lost my glasses!"

Chris halfheartedly went back to help Roger, who was crawling on all fours.

" When did you see it last time?"

" Before leaving DP, you know in the mirror," he replied.

" Hmm..."

They searched on the ground for more than ten minutes when Chris looked at his mate.

" Oi, what's that on your face?"

Roger clumsily tapped his face with his muddy hands.

" I don't know, but, oh," he shouted in realisation. " Hey, I found the glasses," he happily pointed at his face, where the dark glasses were sitting on his nose.

Chris did not deign that for a reply, just got back on his foot and dusted his pants.

It took them embarrassingly long to get back to their magnificent residence. That time Chris broke the silence,

" What do you think, what's up with this guy and his ducks?" Crystal asked after he sat down on the well-kept lawn because he felt very dizzy, and the world was rotating in a nauseatic way.

" Probably some weird kink, but it' obvious he doesn't give a duck about others opinion!" They both erupted in laughter at that. " But if you are ready to stand up, we should go, it's cold outside," Roger scurried in the way of some bushes.

" Hey, isn't the front door this way?" The now lying man asked pointing in the way of the stone pathway behind his head.

" Nah, here's a short cut."

" You sure ab' that?" Chris doubtfully eyes the jungle of garden plants.

" More or less!" Roger shouted from the middle of the vegetation.

" Good enough for me," Chris shrugged and went after the blond.

"Me-ow!" Chris almost stepped on a cat, which appeared from nowhere.

" Oh, a cat!" Roger giddily whispered. "Here, kitty, kitty. Let me pet y'a," he crouched down, to catch the cat.

" I think Freddie is rubbing off on you the wrong way," Chris muttered.

"Why? Look at this cute little fellow," Roger joyfully lifted up the feline to his face. " Ow!" Then he hissed in pain when the cat scratched his face.

" I was wrong. Freddie wouldn't be ever rejected by a cat, like that!" Chris laughed gleefully. 

As they approached the front door according to the blond, the plants became denser, causing Chris to get caught in a root, making him fall and pulling Roger down with him to the ground.

" Careful," the other whispered. " If we break these garden ducks, the owner will kill us." As they were surrounded by ducks made from different materials, this situation was the same as inside the house, hence the name Duckingham Palace. 

" Roger? At what time do ducks wake up?" Chris asked, and when he didn't get a reply, he answered. " At the quack of dawn!" They started to laugh once again. 

***

When they finally managed to cross the unforgiving flora, they were faced with a much greater challenge, a steep staircase. They climbed probably eight or nine steps when Roger lost his balance and slid down to the starting point. 

" You okay?"

" Yes, but the floor keeps coming up at me!"

The taller man went to help Roger, but his feet slipped too, and he fell down next to the blond, in the middle of the jungle. They rolled on the ground, cackling at their own clumsiness.

When they got bored of sitting on the ground, they went onwards, Roger clinging to Chris' back as they climbed much more carefully this time. 

By the time they reached the top of the stairs, they had started dancing victoriously, which might have looked uncoordinated for someone who was not as intoxicated as them. Chris tried to open the door unsuccessfully with a set of keys, while Roger was leaning against the wall, cooling his face with the cold surface. The personal assistant was failing miserably and decided to take more serious actions, like breaking the door, but Roger stopped him, pushed down the door handle and the door miraculously opened.

" Dom must have left it open, expecting us to be wasted. Did I mention ever how much I love her?"

" You mention it five or ten times a day," Chris grumbled.

" I love you too, you are the best! I don't tell you that enough, but you are awesome." 

" Hmpff..." Chris grumbled and looked down. That's when he saw those idiotic sunglasses on the floor, so he picked them up to hand them back to Roger, but the blond already went toward the direction of the master bedroom. 

Roger was bouncing on the long corridor, bumping one wall then the other across. Crystal was watching his foolish friend, pinballing in the house laughed at him but called after him.

" Rog, do you want your glasses?" At that, Roger sent him a grateful grin and went back the same way, colliding into every possible wall.

Stepping next to Chris, Roger took the closest thing from the brown-haired man's hand, the big key chain, and went playing the strange human pinball game against the walls once again, that time trying to put the keys on his nose unsuccessfully. When he was already at the door to his bedroom, Chris called once again after him.

" Do you want your glasses or not?"

" Yeah, thanks, CT!" He yells back!

Chris was laughing at him doubled over, wiping the tears that were running on his face and sliding down on the floor, his legs not holding him up any longer.

When the drummer finally manages to get the glasses from his friend - who almost pissed himself from snickering, - he went to bump into every reachable surface one more last time. Roger not waiting longer after he eventually reached the bedroom, flung the door open and switched on all the lights in the room, screeching.

" Darling, I made it," he seemed proud of himself. For not long...

" Imbecilé! Savez-Vous à Quelle heure il est? C'était la dernière fois que Je te rendais visite! Je ne peux pas y croire..." Dominique shouted at Roger for a good hour after that, which was mostly muffled after the door was slammed close. Roger tried to explain it, but he was too drunk for actually succeeding.

Crystal listened to it from the other end of the corridor, still sitting on the floor, but not laughing anymore. He knew he would get a chew off from Dominique too it was inevitable.

" It would be great if next time we remembered not to woke up the sleeping dragon," as soon as Chris said that out loud there was a loud thump on the wall in the bedroom, so the brown-haired man jumped in fear of Dominique hearing what he just said. But that wasn't the case. The french lady continued to yell at the dumb blond. 

" Tu es ennuyant, et égoïste..."

Chris kept staring in front of himself, into the nothing, not seeing just hearing the quarrel.

"♪Dear friend goodbye, No tears in my eyes, So sad it ends As it began..." Crystal wiped his face with his shirt sleeve, " Dominique hating Roger's gut again♫..." as he sang mournfully.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos are always welcome.


End file.
